Plumb Bob and Tundra Plumb were too sedated to notice. The little swine voided once more, festooning the interior of the new Chevy with its excrement. By then, the poor piggy was stressed out big time, but far from devoid of offal ammunition.
#Plumb bob tricks windows
Roscoe, with his charges safely seated inside the cab of the brand new Chevy pickup truck, locked the passenger door, opened the windows to gain as much respiratory relief as possible, and drove home. Plumb Bob and Tundra Plumb, frequently caroming off the side of the building, drew the attention of a local policeman who confronted the trio, but was placated by the earnest supplications of the still sober driver, Roscoe.
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The designated driver, Roscoe, keeping his distance and traveling faster than the speed of smell emanating from his employers, had honored his assignment as designated driver and called to the pair to follow him to the truck. Actually, the crowd’s concept of chivalry did not include such a personal sacrifice…or risk of fecal contamination. In fact, everyone gave them an extra wide berth, as one might expect for royalty. In their inebriated, and now thoroughly soiled state, the winning couple was not offered assistance as they stumbled off the stage. Janet’s dress was seriously defiled by her new pet’s offal and the crowd went ballistic. As the crowd’s hooraws reached a crescendo, the panicked porker let forth a blast of diarrhea, some of which landed on Plumb Bob’s head.
With a booze generated, vacant stare, Plumb Bob turned his posterior to the crowd, bent over and dropped his drawers. A few years before, Plumb Bob had been ordered off an Alaska Airline jet for mooning a stewardess that he judged to be rude. My good friend, Plumb Bob, is not one to take any guff without retaliation. The smiling auctioneer handed the panicky pig to Tundra Plumb, who tucked it securely under her arm as the crowd chided Plumb Bob for letting himself be suckered in on the criminally inflated bid. With significant difficulty, they negotiated the short flight of steps to the stage, which seemed to be moving, according to Plumb Bob (The winning couple was “drunk as a skunk,” which is explained earlier in the story). But the crowd was on a collect roll and insisted, then dared, that Plumb Bob and Tundra Plumb (his wife Janet’s nickname also explained elsewhere in the story) go on stage to receive the prize. No doubt they were also relieved that the pig would not be sharing their company for the trip home. Wives of competing bidders were relieved and some were heard promising not to slaughter their husbands once the gavel had fallen and their family finances were no longer threatened. At seven hundred fifty dollars the gavel was dropped, finalizing the sale, and Plumb Bob had his pig. The bidding continued at a fast and furious pace, with others counting on Plumb Bob’s stubbornness to bail them out of their ridiculously high bids. (Actually, his words were a bit more irreverent than that, and therefore censored for the benefit of the reading public.) To speed things up, ask a helper to steady the plumb bob while you adjust the position of the string. The key to accuracy is to wait for the bob to stop swinging. above the floor and center the point exactly over the intersecting lines.
#Plumb bob tricks how to
Plumb Bob (his name is explained elsewhere in the story), seldom reserved, loudly announced that he would bid three hundred bucks right away, muttering something about how he would have that beautiful little pig, by gosh and by golly. To learn how to use a level, suspend the plumb bob about 1/2 in. A young grunter of this pig’s peer would normally sell for about thirty-five dollars, which is where the bidding began. The clamorous crowd cheered as the auctioneer kicked into gear. On days when you're putting well, don't be afraid to cut the read on short putts in half and firm them in.When the pig appeared on stage as the final auction item, Plumb Bob rasped his vow to have that cute little thing. If you put a little speed on it and hit it dead center, it won't have time to move." Phil banged in the putt to win. It only got worse when I looked at the putt, because I didn't see it moving right at all. Although it was a short putt, he needed it to win his second major.
But on the final hole, Phil pitched his third shot to within two feet and then out of the blue asked me to look at the putt and confirm his feeling that it might break to the right. I read only a handful of putts for Phil the entire week because he had the greens wired and didn't need my input. An example of this came during the 2005 PGA Championship at Baltusrol. His boldness and faith in his ability are what separate him from other players. This is true even on fast greens, where the consequences of missing are severe, and it's especially true under pressure. Phil possesses one of the rarest traits a golfer can have: He doesn't hesitate to negate break on putts by hitting them firmly.
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